Lost

As I write this, they are airing the season premiere of the hit show Lost on ABC but I don't know anything about that. Being lost is not fictional situation for me. It is pretty much the story of my life. Just today, I went to visit a friend and on my way back to my sister's house I spent the better part of an hour getting lost when (1) I had perfectly good directions (2) I got lost reversing those good directions, (3) the destination is my sister's house which practically means (4) I got lost going home, a place I had lived in for years and years and years. If I were going to be lost in these circumstances, I can't imagine how I'd do in the City of Ljubliana, Slovenia. I can't even pronounce Ljubljana! All I know is theirs was the most humane human interaction I've received from an embassy since I started getting my visas in order. The nice man from the embassy who was their consul apologized sincerely when he was late in coming to interview me through what I now have come to connosiuer as standard issue glass panes for embassies (that and 1970s furniture!). Eventually I did get home but later that night in bed trying to make sleep, I was consumed about the idea of getting lost. I know it will happen and will happen quite frequently. I've been lost before and I've always managed however unelegantly. I just don't know if I am up for it these days. I feel raw and decompressed. This -- the quitting of job, the traveling alone, the time off from work---was all a lot clearer in my head two years ago and now that the reality of it is here, I'm fearful and tentative.