What Would You Do

It's 2:04 am and my roommate is wondering what I am doing still up. The answer is I don't know. Today at the Oprah show, they were talking about what people would do when they come upon an unexpected windfall. She talks to the producer of a documentary, What Would a Homeless Person Do with $100,000, a social experiment that follows a homeless man who finds a briefcase filled with cash and a note that asked him that very question. He starts by buying himself a 35,000 truck. It does not end well. The man is homeless again and with more debt than when he started.

As I am unemployed right now, this strikes the paranoid chord in me. I was prepared for this time off but not being one for taking risks before, it's hard to break the old habit of not worrying. Suddenly I have the entire day to myself. Free to do whatever I want. How powerful is that? But is this a social experiment that will end badly? For along with that power and freedom comes a lot of responsibility. Spiderman knows it. And I'm no Spiderman. There is no excuse for my windows to remain broken and unfixed, my pile of papers unfiled, my yoga tapes unplayed and unfollowed.

I keep looking at the pictures I've taken. The pile of mementos I kept from the trip---train tickets from the tabachi, maps crumpled, torn and never folded back to its original state, silly little bus tickets from Marianske Lanze, pressed leaves of olive trees from Vernazza, receipt that says Grazie from El Pirata Cafe, a tour ticket with a sillhoute of the Karlstejn castle, a candy wrapper (could very well be just garbage that I forgot to throw), and these travel sketches. I haven't done one of these in years. It feels good to get back into it. I wasn't even sure how to do it at first and slowly I remembered bits and pieces of things that Offe, my watercolor teacher, taught me. From light to dark, start with some water and choose a color that you see of the subject you wish to draw and lightly brush it in. It's a general idea at first and you refine as you go along. He says you're not drawing with one stroke. At first the sea is a blob of blue, and as you dip for a darker hue, the waves start to take shape. He says I should not be afraid to make mistakes. That in fact, there are no mistakes.

I certainly hope so.

So this week has been a struggle of sorts to revive my rusty and out of practice skills in my studio. In fact, my files and hammers are literally rusty and I spent a good chunk of a day removing the rust with sand paper. So here the beginnings of Christmas gifts or a new series for a true first collection.